The End of CoSleeping

Since the day my daughter was born she has slept in my room, on my bedside. Every night for 2 years and ninety four days she slept either with us or in her bed, next to mine.

When we brought her home from the hospital she started out in her bassinet, that lasted for about 6 months. I don't remember exactly when, or why but she ended up in our bed, and she just stayed there. Until last year, after we moved here to California, I set her crib up as a toddler bed and we slowly transitioned her into it. First I had her bed set as a side-car. This allowed her to move back and forth easily. After I got her accustomed to sleeping in her bed I moved it about a foot away from our bed. I put a neck pillow along the edge to prevent her from rolling out, something I'd seen done on pinterest with pool noodles. It wasn't perfect, and she still rolled out a handful of times, but it worked good enough. She got to the point of mostly sleeping in her bed sometime last fall. But I was still breastfeeding her so she moved into our bed every night at some point. It was still convenient to have her in our room.

Just after the first of this year I got a cold, and partly due to cold medicine and partly due to it just being time, Evey weaned. With her no longer breastfeeding she was sleeping almost the entire night in her bed, only climbing into our bed to wake me up in the morning. At this point the only thing keeping her in our room, was the fact that I liked having her there, I was comforted by the fact that I can check on  her any second of the night.

She has this beautiful room.

(I lost the sheet to her bed, so I need to make a new one, or go to Ikea to buy another.)

The last thing I needed to do was to attach her dresser to her wall.

It weighs about a billion pounds and it's unlikely she would be able to tip it over, but the chance that she did, it would surely crush her if it fell on top of her.

Yesterday I put about 30 holes in the wall trying to find the studs, but I found them, and I got this sucker attached to the wall, it's not going anywhere.

So last night she slept in her big girl bed. For the first time in two years and ninety four days she didn't sleep next to me. I had a hard time with it at first. I checked her on the monitor about 400 times. But she slept all night, until 8 this morning. When I woke up to the sound of her whispering to her bunny "hop, hop, hop" 

8am

"hop hop hop"

When I remotely moved the camera she looked up at it so I was able to get these cute shots of her face. Then she went back to playing with her bunny. I laid and watched her for about 15 minutes before she called for me.

I am so proud of her for making it the whole night in her big girl bed. And I'm very proud of myself for not moving in there with her, no matter how badly I wanted to.

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My journey to finding a babysitter.

Last week I needed a baby sitter for the first time since Evey was born. Besides once or twice being left with immediate family, she has never been left with anyone. I wasn't looking forward to it, and even with a few weeks notice I was still unsure how to go about it.Paul came home from work with  bad news, shortly after I gave him my school schedule, telling him the nights I needed him home, he found out he was going to be gone for an entire work week. Not that big of a deal, I can miss two days of school. Wait.... Nope.,... Midterm that week. If I miss it, it can seriously negatively impact my grade.

Panic set in. What am I supposed to do? I need to go to class? First I asked my teacher if I could bring my daughter to class with me. HA HA HA! Yes I'm crazy. I can barely even get homework done with her around, let alone focus on a midterm. My Professor (obviously) said no. I was very concerned. I don't have many contacts here in California. I knew my parents were coming to visit the weekend before, but I didn't want them to delay and screw up their vacation by asking them to stay an extra 4 days.

So I turned to Facebook I know how crazy that sounds, and I didn't post in an open forum "hey what stranger wants to watch my kid". I have a group of ladies I really trust, we have similar parenting styles, and they are local. So I asked for recommendations. Right away I had a girl recommended to me. She is a Marine Wife, she previously worked in child care, and she was really close, like I could walk there close. Also she has her own baby, so Evey would have someone to play with. 

I had her come over for an interview, I let her play with Evey and she told me about herself. It actually worked out perfect, she showed up just as my washing machine started to vomit foam, so I was able to see her occupy Evey so I could handle the disaster in my laundry room. Okay, maybe that's not perfect. But it worked out anyway. I really like her, and I could even see us being friends, because we both have similar parenting styles. So I scheduled her in. 

The week of babysitting was stressful, not only did I have a heavy workload for school, and a midterm, but Paul was gone from Monday morning to Friday night. But despite all of the stress and anxiety, Evey's first (and second) babysitter experiences went off perfectly. Neither of us cried. I really didn't expect her to, but I was pretty sure I would, if I hand't been so distracted by school I probably would have. And I am going to schedule Evey for a few more days, during the day, for weeks I have papers due, so I can focus without her getting into shit and distracting me. We are also probably going to have a play date so Evey doesn't think every time we go the sitters house she is being left there. Only time will tell, but I may have gotten a friend out of the deal too!

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Toddler Tantrum

Things have been rough around here the last weeks or so. Can terrible twos start before two? That's the only explanation I've got.
We have had some pretty terrible tantrums here. It breaks my heart to watch my little girl get so upset because her cartoon is over, or the carrots got yogurt on them, or the dog (who is 12 pounds) stepped on her foot. We are also trying to work on enforcing rules, like you can't just dump out the cheerios if you don't want to eat them. Trying to enforce rules, also normally results in a tantrum. I don't want to raise a spoiled brat, but sometimes it's just easier to give in to her, because she doesn't understand. Yesterday I cried with her, as she cried, I don't even remember why, she cried a lot yesterday. 

The hardest thing about her tantrums is how she acts, She often starts thrashing about, and will intentionally hit her head on the floor,or on you if you are holding her. According to Dr. Google, this is normal because she is experiencing all these new emotions and becoming aware of them, but doesn't have the verbal skills to express herself, so she throws herself around or smacks her head into things. These are really the worst, I try to hold her so she doesn't hurt herself, but usually the tantrum then gets worse for a few seconds (minutes? feels like an eternity) before she starts to calm down. 

Parenting seemed relatively easy until now, the baby cries? Hold her, feed her, change her, one of the above was the answer, now there is no answer. I don't even think she understands why she is so upset, which makes it so much more frustrating for her, and in turn, me. I am doing the best I can, and I am doing what feels right to me, but sometimes it feels like I am not doing anything right. Like yesterday, I think my neighbors (who were outside) we're probably about to come check on us, because Evey SCREAMED for about half an hour as I tried to get her to pick up the cheerios she dumped on the kitchen floor, (or at least sit with me while I pick them up) and then we sat in Time-Out, while I counted to 10, the first time and 30 the second time, her screaming and thrashing around the entire time. But I didn't back down, and in the end we got the cheerios picked up and we made it through 30 seconds of time out. and she quieted down and we played with blocks. 

How do you handle tantrums and terrible twos? How do you help your toddler find their way back to that happy place? 

The Battery Kid

Sometimes I think twice about posting things. Do I really want to share that with the world? Yeah, I'm an open book here and if one person can learn from my fail, I may as well share. Even parenting Fails (Example A)

Baby Roseola 

So without further delay, our most recent parenting fail-

Weekends I get to sleep in, Well a few weeks ago Evelyn had gotten up with Paul at about 9. At some point while he was in the bathroom she climbed onto a table and he found her with a battery, a AA battery. When he told me about it an hour or so later I mentioned that there had been two batteries there because I had just taken them out of something. We frantically searched the house and could not find the other battery. So off to the ER. The nurse came out to get us from triage and asked "is this the battery kid?" ... yep, we have the battery kid. We told our story half a dozen times, and yes we are missing a AA battery, I know how unlikely it is that she would be fine, and not have choked if she did try to swallow a AA battery, but we  could not find it, don't want to risk it. After a quick x-ray we still had no battery. But at least we knew it was not inside her.
I did end up finding the battery several hours later under some toys. So at least we don't have to worry about that anymore.
All of this after a week of her getting molars and getting a mysterious rash, that was later discovered to be Roseola. 

Spoons Aren't Toys

Okay. I am a first time parent and know there are common sense things that you just shouldn't let your kids do, being a new(ish) mom is no excuse. 

Letting kids play with silverware is a huge no-no. I've seen the picture of the kid with the fork stuck in his face (google it, I don't want to see it again) Well...

I used to let my child play with spoons. I would let her run off and play around with her spoons in her mouth when she was done eating.

After all, it's just a spoon right? 

One early afternoon, Evelyn had just finished her yogurt and I took her form the highchair and let her run off. I don't recall noting that she had the spoon, but it wasn't a big deal, I let her run off with the spoon all the time. So she is goofing around, playing with her toys. She climbs on her ride on Jeep, it's not that big, the seat maybe 6 inches off the floor. She loves to stand on it, so that is what she is doing, standing, and I don't notice the (metal) baby spoon is in her mouth, and she falls. Her scream startled me, she normally cries, but this was a scream. When I scooped her up there was blood pouring out of her mouth.

When she fell she jammed the spoon into the roof of her mouth, and she cut a nice dent in her mouth. It stopped bleeding after a minute or two, but she wouldn't let me look in her mouth. She would nurse, so I figured that was pretty good. We ended up going to urgent care anyway because when she finally let me have a look she had a sort of pocket on the roof of her mouth and I didn't know if it was something that would need to be stitched closed. Thankfully it wasn't. 

It actually started healing very quickly, Here is a picture of her mouth a day or two later as it was healing. 

It was three weeks ago and she barely has a little dent in the roof of her mouth anymore. 

But we learned a very important lesson that day. Spoons are not toys (anymore). 

Tell me I'm not the only one who learned a hard lesson about something that was common sense. 

Shit My Mom Says - From Evey's Point of View

This weeks theme was mostly: Things that don't belong in her mouth

"don't drink the dog water"

"don't dip your crackers in the dog water"

"don't lick the fireplace"

"please don't eat the firewood"

"don't eat the dog food"

"spit out that dog food"

"get your banana out of the dog water"

(to dad) "she's dumping the bowl of dog water on herself again"

"did you just wipe yogurt on Renji?"
(don't worry, Aiko (the other dog) cleaned it off him)

Stay tuned for more.

Baby Led Weaning

The other day I touched on Baby Led Weaning. I wanted to elaborate a little more on that. Many months ago we started our journey with baby led weaning (BLW) with asparagus.

Pretty much the basis of BLW is to let your child feed herself. They decided how much to eat, and when they are done eating. Part of the reason we went this way is that it is supposed to help grow kids with better eating habits, they like a wide variety of foods. They learn to feed themselves, they learn to stop when they are full, and they (supposedly) will be more apt to try new foods.

We rarely ever spoon fed Evelyn, for a short while we would feed her when she was eating pouched food, but now we just hand her the pouch and hope for the best. She is now pretty good with a spoon and shovels her yogurt into her mouth with only a little mess. Quite an improvement from when we first handed her the spoon and the bowl of yogurt.

much less mess, although the bowl and spoon have both been thrown to the dogs

 I also liked the idea because we didn't have to buy baby food (but we still keeps some pouches on hand). You feed the baby what you eat. Early on this was hard, how are you going to feed a baby a hamburger, or chicken noodle soup? Things have gotten easier with time, also our dinner choices are a little better, I think, because I take into mind the things that Evey can't  or shouldn't eat. The other day we had pizza, Evey had pizza too, if we have spaghetti, so does she. Sometimes we will still make poor meal choices, or we will eat something that she has no interest in, and those nights se will get a pouch of pureed food.

There is tons of information on BLW, and I am not an expert, If you are interested I strongly recommend the book Baby Led Weaning . There are also several facebook pages and websites out there with more information, and precautions you should take when feeding your baby solid food.
So far I am really pleased with her progress, even before she had teeth she has been eating things like chicken and veggies. She loves fruit, and recently discovered kiwi. She's not really a picky eater, one of her favorite meats is fish, of all shapes and sizes, halibut, cod, shrimp, yummy! I can't wait to get her out to California where we will have so much more food to choose from.

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You are doing a good job mom!

It's nice to hear this from family and friends, that you're doing good, but It's really nice to hear it from strangers. 

I had to take E to the urgent care last week, I thought she had an ear infection, she doesn't, she was just being cranky. 

But as I talked to the doctor and she asked normal questions, I was a bit hesitant to answer honestly. One of the questions I got was what am I putting on her teething related, diaper rash? I use coconut oil, no zinc, no creams, partly because we cloth diaper and that's what is safe for the diapers. I was nervous because I am a member of several "natural mom" groups on facebook and I read a lot about moms being judged, or being told they are wrong, for raising their kids naturally. Everything from continuing breastfeeding beyond a certain age to skipping baby rice cereal, I read about women being told, that it's not a good idea and they are wrong. So I was hesitant to answer her question with my natural remedy. But I was getting a good vibe from her, and she's not my regular doctor so what's the harm? Do I even care what she thinks about diaper rash treatment? So I told her. Much to my surprise she said that coconut oil was great, and then she recommended other natural things that I may have lying around incase I didn't have coconut oil, like unsalted lard. 

I talked with her for a bit, we talked about cloth diapering and breastfeeding. More than once she said I was doing a great job and I was being a good mom. Not just my natural approach, but even as we were leaving, she told me I was a great mom. It's so nice to hear, especially from someone who has raised several kids of her own, and sees sick kids all day long. She made me feel good, good about my choices in raising Evelyn, good about being a mommy. 

I think more moms need to be told they are doing a good job, especially first time moms, I know I often wonder, especially taking her to urgent care, I was worried that my babe was sick, and what if I waited too long and she had some raging infection? The doctor was so calm and kind, even though nothing was wrong, except a cranky baby recovering from teething, she didn't make me feel like I was wasting her time for worrying. She didn't rush me out once she saw that my baby wasn't ill. 

So moms, you are doing a good job, if you baby is safe, warm and fed you are doing a good job. Keep up the good work. 

*while googling for images for this article, (of which I didn't really find any, sorry) I came across this great article, for any moms looking for more natural treatments for common ailments check it out!*

Daily Mom

and I'm linking up a day late, because I didn't post this yesterday. 

I'm a Hippy Dippy, Cloth Diapering, Baby Wearing, Co-Sleeping, Breast Feeding, Mama

Evey's first cloth diaper. She's about a week old.

I don't even know how it happened, I'm not overly earthy crunchy myself. 

Each decision I have made in parenting has been for my own benefit. I breast feed, because it's free, also because I think it's good for her, It's always ready, and I have no shortage of milk. I still feed on demand (no schedule) because it works best for us, I don't work so I don't need to plan feedings, I sometimes try to time them if we have plans, but really she eats what she wants, when she wants. 

It also conveniently soothes her, if she gets upset I can nurse her and she calms down and either naps or eats till she is so full and happy she doesn't remember why she was mad. 

I cloth diaper because I was cloth diapered, and because they are so cute nowadays. And washing poop in my washer doesn't gross me out. Also we have had 2 small diaper rashes in Evey's 7 months, I think this is due to cloth diapering. I still use paper diapers when I leave the house sometimes, and when we travel, because I don't want to be driving around with a bunch of pissy diapers in my purse/diaper bag.

I baby wear because I can burn extra calories walking while wearing her. Also she really likes it, I can nurse in it by throwing a blanket over the carrier and no one knows, I fed her numerous times at the folk festival last weekend and I really think no one had any idea. 

The co sleeping started as a solution to a sleep strike when Evey was about 4 months old, and it just stuck. I still try to put her to bed in her own bed most nights, but she is almost always in my bed by midnight. 

We also practice Baby Led Weaning, a little. We are currently living by the motto 

"Food before one is just for fun"

mostly because I think baby food is gross, I don't want to feed her something I wouldn't even touch. But I know she's not ready for mac and cheese and hot dogs, so when we have baby friendly veggies she gets some, I don't think she has had a real solid food in over a week. So she is still primarily breast fed. 

I'm just doing what feels right for me. I don't plan on breastfeeding forever, I do vaccinate, She will not sleep with me forever. 

I also don't judge, I think if you formula feed that's fine, if you don't vaccinate or you delay I don't judge, sleep training is fine if it works for you. I think as a mom as long as you are doing what you feel right in your heart, and you are doing your best, you are being a great mom. 

Go link up to the Mommy Mondays, I gotta run, my baby is crying and it's her bed time. 

We got lucky

Evelyn lucky in the daddy department. Paul is such a great dad. He is so attentive, and he has been from day one, there was no more "new parent" adjustment period for him than there was me.  Through my whole labor he was by my side, and as soon as Evelyn came out he rushed to be by her side, to be sure she was okay. 

 When he was finally given the opportunity (after she was fed) he held her with such care, and gave her so much love. 

Upon arriving home, he would get up and take her after I fed her. Then he would watch cartoons, or play video games with her so I could sleep in a little bit longer.

A few days ago we started cloth diapering during the day. This is a trial and error thing for us. But he is very good at getting the diaper on, even though it doesn't fit. 

He even asked if he could wear her in the Moby while making dinner the other night. 

He is so great with her, and she loves him so much. 

Even now that he has gone back to work, when he comes home he does the dishes, and then cuddles up with her (and the playstation) as I prepare dinner.  Or they nap like today. 

- Alana