Sunday Social (way late)

Okay I am way late on this one but I thought it would be fun so I am doing it anyway. 

1. What is something you have wanted to do but are afraid of?

There isn't much that I have let fear keep me from doing. I have been skydiving, zip-lining, snorkeling. I have traveled near and far (although I'd like to travel more) I don't let fear keep me down. 

Like this, This was terrifying: 

2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Hopefully in Okinawa :) Maybe with another baby. 

3. What are you looking forward to before the end of 2012?
Happy Healthy Baby.

4. What are your hopes for your blog?

I hope that I can continue to reach people and have positive feedback. I would love to grow my audience and maybe I can find more of a focus for my blog. But I don't think my ADD will allow that :) I would also like to maybe vlog a bit more. 

5. Do you always see yourself living in your current town/city?
Well no, we are military so we won't settle for a while. Also I am not particularly fond of this place, I have learned while living here, that I am more of a city girl. 

6. What is your morning routine
Wake up, shower, keurig, bagel, internets. 

- Alana
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30 week update

Today I am 30 weeks pregnant. 

How far along? 30 weeks

Total weight gain: 20ish lbs
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Sleep comes and goes for me. Some nights I sleep great, others I toss and turn all night. Last night the cat was being an ass, so last night sleep evaded me, and I am sure it didn't help that I had a 3+ hour nap yesterday.
Best moment this week: The video I got. Freaking Amazing. 

Miss Anything? I'm missing having feeling in my fingers. Pregnancy induced Carpal Tunnel sucks.   
Movement: Yes, In fact some nights I think she may be trying to dig her way out.  
Food cravings: e-z nacho cheese from Target & a nice cold beer.
Anything making you queasy or sick: I had to clean up cat puke Monday morning, I also ended up having to clean up my own puke. I should note that this is the first time I have puked (not counting the food poisoning episode first trimester) this pregnancy.
Gender: She better still be a girl
Labor Signs: I am really only having contractions on days that I work and I am on my feet all day. 
Symptoms: Bought my first bottle of heartburn meds. That shit is also keeping me up at night. 
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but my "infinite belly hole" as Paul lovingly calls it, is much less infinite and I can see the bottom of it. 
Wedding rings on or off? Nope, not even going over my knuckle. But I have found a ring I am using as a temp. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: I have been pretty damn cranky. And more than once I have said "I can do what I want because I am pregnant, and no one is going to tell me otherwise" or something along those lines. 
Looking forward to: Anything involving sleep, or having me feet rubbed. 

In other somewhat related news: 

Today I put in my 2 weeks notice at work. Really I just cant handle the hours and being on my feet the whole shift, and there is no job in the store that will offer me any more down time than what I am already doing. I spend the rest of my day feeling like total shit on days that I work, and I hate feeling like that 4-5 days a week. Also with us moving sometime soon (hopefully before baby), I really need to focus on getting things ready for that, and the baby, since husbands work schedule won't allow him much time to help. I didn't expect to have this all happen so soon. These last few weeks are flying by.

- Alana

InstaTuesday

Follow me on instagram - AlanaMarie26

1. Days on Recruiting Duty left. (this was taken on Sept 3, so we are now at 680 days or 61.99% complete)

2. My snuggle bunny Aiko. 

4. Renji wanted to drive home from HomeDepot. Don't worry, I did not let him. 

4. Bright sun on the trees while on our boat trip of Gates of the Mountain

1. Aiko is constantly licking Renji's face. The vet says it's a dominance thing.

2. Again my snoozing princess Aiko.

3. Where I am every day. This is the end table on my side of the couch. Bills, nail polish, there's a day-planner under there. 

1. Favorite wine is on sale at Albertsons. Usually $18 a bottle, sale $13. Too bad I feel trashy buying wine being as pregnant as I am. So I make Paul buy it. 

2. Silly Aiko sleeping under my pillow. 

3. Renji drools in his sleep. See the puddle? 

I notice I not only take a lot of pictures of my dogs, but many of these are while they are asleep. They are so cute when they are asleep. Plus that's really the only time of the day that they hold still. 

- Alana

Where to next?

Well our time in Helena has been unexpectedly cut short. We are likely headed on a new adventure in the very near future. There have been rumors of someone being moved for the last few months. There are only a few recruiters here in Montana, so only a few guys to play musical chairs with. Paul was just promoted this month so it looks like he is the lucky guy. We won't be moving far. And we'll still be technically on Recruiting Duty. But Paul is being relocated to Butte, MT to be the MEPS guy. We'll finish out our last year on Recruiting Duty there. It's only about an hour away so we don't have to move far.

But the thing is the timeline they are running on is really bad for us. Sometime in Oct Paul will go to school for a week to learn to do this new job. Then he'll train with the current MEPS guy for about a month or two, and they want us down there in December.
Umm.... I'm going to have a baby in December....
Also it's going to be the dead of winter. And Butte is colder than Helena...
Yep, No one seems to care.
We want this, the job. It comes with better hours and most weekends off which will be great with me being a new first time mom. It'll give us a chance to experience more of Montana, Maybe we will like Butte more than Helena. But the timing really sucks. This is not how I expected our exit from Helena to be.  I didn't think that we would be moving from this house so soon. As much as I hate it here, I imagined when I left I would be saying goodbye to Montana, and Recruiting Duty, not just this house. And I have found myself being very nostalgic about Helena since we got news that we would likely be leaving. I don't like it here, but there are things that I will miss.
I know this is a good thing but there is so much in my head right now it just hurts to think about it.
My biggest concern being the birth of baby E.
We are being given some degree of say in the timing of the move, Paul is being allowed to commute until official orders come through, which, we are told will be in December. So we have time to find a house. If we find a house sooner rather than later we have been told orders will be pushed through early so we can break our lease here and move. Paul will be in school sometime in Oct, so I am thinking our best bet for move in will be Nov. So we have about a month to find a house. That is if we want to move before I give birth. Or we could stay here and try to move in January with a newborn. I think really it'll come down to when we find a house that suits our needs. Our biggest problem finding a home in Helena was Taco. No one wants cats. Its funny because the dogs are way more destructive than the cat, but whatever.
The next obstacle, if we do move before baby E is born, do I try to give birth up here in Helena? It's only an hour away. Or do I just change all my OB stuff down to Butte? and have a new doctor and hospital for the last month of pregnancy? I do like my doctor, and the hospital.
If we do come up to Helena, what do we do with the dogs?

Part of me wants to just wait, and move after the first of the year, and part of me wants to just get down there and get the move over with.
I am so torn, I woke up last night at about 5 am and just couldn't stop thinking about what would happen next.
If I weren't pregnant this wouldn't even be an issue, we'd just hit the road.
But I have this other person to think about now.


- Alana

Thank you

I have picked back up on my blogging this week, and I have shared more of my personal thoughts and feelings than normal. I have had such an overwhelming positive feedback that I am going to do it more often. I really suck at replying to comments even though I do try. I want I thank you all for reading, commenting and just being awesome. I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Sunday Social

1. 5 items you can't live without on a daily basis(water, food, shelter, and clothes dont count)

My iPhone. You can take away my laptop for the day but don't completely cut me off. (I have acutally gone off the grid while camping for several days and survived, But I like my link to the outside world)

Along with the above would be internet, I can't surf facebook without it! 

 lately, coffee. I need it to survive.

 flip flops, the only shoes I can wear comfortably

I can't think of anything else... 

2. All time favorite book? Why? 

I loved Harry Potter. Why? Because it's the best.  

3. Something you'd like to accomplish before the end of 2012

Having a baby! 

Okay, maybe just surviving the next 3 months would suffice.

4. If you could go back and relive any year of your life which year would it be? 

Any of the years we were in Okinawa, but the last was surely the best. 

5. What do you wish people knew about you without you having to tell them? 

How to pronounce my name correctly. It's Alana rhymes with Banana. 

- Alana

A Promotion and some thoughts on Marriage.

My Marine got promoted to Gunnery Sergeant Wednesday. And he let me pin him! 

I am so very proud of him and the things he has accomplished. Even being on Recruiting Duty, a notoriously hard assignment, he has managed to be selected for promotion. This promotion has opened some doors for us, and I have some exciting? news coming up soon. (not going to Okinawa, yet)

But I have been thinking about my husband and all the ups and downs we have had, the adventures we have had together, all of our experiences. I wonder is it because the military forces us to live our lives the way we do, with long often unpredictable duty hours, frequent separations, and moving every 3ish years, that we have such an open line of communication. I can't really think of anything I can't talk to him about. My feelings, my hopes and dreams, our families, or finances. Yeah there are things that no one wants to discuss (money, unless it's a recent mega millions win) but I can't imagine being married to someone and not being able to discuss something with them. That person is your partner, your mate, you should be able to discuss things with them.
Being pregnant I often find myself reading pregnancy forums, and I guess third trimester everyone is cranky, because in the December due forum I read most often, there is a lot of complaining (I complain too, so I am not ragging on the complaint department).
 Last night I read several different posts where the wife stated "I just can't talk to my husband about this" and it's not about things like ooky body issues, or stuff only a pregnant person would understand.
 It's stuff like "I don't like the name he picked out" Ummmm it's a child that was made between the two of you, you can't name your child something you hate... and then there was a "My MIL bought blah blah and I hate it, but I can't tell him" okay First I love my MIL, but if she wanted to buy us something that we didn't need or didn't like I would tell her, and if I felt for some reason I couldn't tell her you'd be damn sure I'd tell my husband. But I like my MIL and maybe part of that is the reason I wouldn't be uncomfortable if I needed to discuss something with her.
I've seen gripes about money before, women who feel they can't talk to their husbands about money, or their spending habits. Now that's just stupid.  I think not being able to discuss things, as an adult, with the person you married is just dumb. Now I know many people have discussions, money in particular, that cause fights, Paul and I occasionally have heated discussions about this subject. But with my current situation, harboring a baby human in me, I find myself worrying a little more. So this issue in particular has been a little more frequent, but we usually resolve it within a short time.
I am not one of those people who runs around telling everyone what I think of them or their situation or voicing my opinion, I avoid confrontation and I do have an issue with authority. Talking to people who I feel have an authority over me makes me nervous. Like at work, I don't like discussing serious matters with my supervisors, it just makes me nervous. I don't see my husband as an authority figure, I think we are equals, if anything I am the authority j/k. I think if more people went into a relationship as equals there would be more harmony, and I really think that you should feel comfortable talking to your significant other about anything, even ooky girl stuff.


- Alana

Pregnancy- Not as glamourous as I imagined.

Before getting pregnant I had these grand ideas about how great it would be, and how fun, and how cute I would look. I knew it would have tough days too, I knew I wouldn't enjoy every moment. But I thought I would enjoy it more than I have.

Everyone says I look cute, I just feel fat. I am suffering from extremely low self esteem right now. I feel like a cow, even though I haven't gained a lot, and I am right on trace,  I have lost almost all my muscle mass, mostly because I am too exhausted/physically incapable of working out. In the beginning it was my sciatic, and I quit walking and zumba, now I've added carpal tunnel, so my hands constantly hurt and lifting any weights, pushups, even carrying heavy things hurts. Also the fact that I have just let myself go so bad that I get winded carrying laundry up the stairs. I am seriously going to have my work cut out for me once I have baby E and I can physically get back into working out.
My plan is to start with cardio, I've got a treadmill, so I can get on it while E is sleeping. I want to get a nice jogging stroller so as soon as the weather is nice I can hit the pavement. I am also hoping I can start up Zumba again, plus I have a plethora of workout DVD's. The important thing is I have a plan, and I know things wont be easy, but it'll be worth it.

Another not so glam thing I have been struggling with is my skin, (I am going to save my skin thing for a whole separate post though.)

I don't know what I was thinking but I imagined I would do more, be more active. I have days when I barely move, I get up take the dogs potty, sit down, make lunch, sit back down, take the dogs potty again, sit back down, refill my drink, sit back down. It's no wonder that I have no muscle mass left and I am all flabby. The most action my arms get is shoveling food/drink into my mouth.

I am moody, and often a little depressed, depressed because I wanted to enjoy pregnancy, not be miserable. Then I feel worse, because there are so many people who have it worse than me, and they suck it up and deal. I just sit here and complain. I am also depressed about my body, I've never been a skinny girl, I've always struggled with my weight, but I am having a really hard time accepting the way I look. And moody, I can be downright mean sometimes. The things that go through my head, the things that don't make it past my lips, yeah those things are really bad. Paul and I were talking last week and after I went on a tirade about siting in your stalled car and not attempting to move it, or making an effort to let other drivers know you are stopped at a light and not moving because your shit is broke (just thinking about it still pisses me off...) but anyway the conversation went like this: Me "being pregnant makes me irritable" Paul "No, being pregnant makes you MORE irritable". So I am a cranky person to begin with, but right now I am just downright nasty. I've also been a little down because I haven't had that "OMG I'M HAVING A BABY!" moment yet. I'm want to bond with her, I want to love her, it's so hard to explain, but it's still hard to believe I'm even having a baby, even though I can feel her moving all the time.

Minor medical issues are also frightening, for someone who is already dealing with anxiety the "what ifs" suck. There whole Down Syndrome thing was hella stressful. And then this week we have had the Gestational Diabetes, which I know is very common, and totally manageable, but still it's scary as hell. But I did have the big 3hr GD test today and I won, I do not have Gestational Diabetes, Yay!

I've complained about the swelling before, and it's another fact of life for pregnancy, but for me it started early, I started swelling around 19 weeks. I haven't worn my wedding rings in two months. My shoes stopped fitting about a month and a half ago, and now I live in flipflops and slipper shoes. Putting on my work tennies usually causes more discomfort than just wearing shitty cheep slip ons.

I've also had a few "gross female issues" that have come up a few times, which again, I guess is normal, but not fun.
And my poor husband. I have zero libido. He really must love me.


Sorry to have sat here an complained for the last half a page, but so many of the pregnancy stories I read are all sunshine and rainbows. Mine is only a little sunshine and a few scattered rainbows.  And I think things have just piled up this last few weeks, we have had a stressful time as a family unit because of some decisions that we are being forced to make that while in the long run will hopefully be good, in the short term they are throwing a huge wrench into things. (more on that soon, we should have some answers any day now) So I am using this as my outlet to just let it out so I don't stab someone.

I want to add that there are many great things too. Feeling her move, shopping for her :) knowing that I'll have my little girl soon. But I think a majority of the wonderfulness will happen on her birthday, and beyond. I cannot wait for December.


- Alana

Gates of the Mountain Boat tour

Last week Paul and I went on the boat tour at Gates of the Mountain. I first heard about it last year and was very excited to do it, but over the last year things have just not allowed us the time to do this. Paul has been super busy, I've been super busy, when we do have time, we don't feel like it, or it slips my mind. 

But we got around to it last week, and it was so cool! 

(click for larger images)

The canyon is made up of primarily limestone.  

It has been filled about 16ft above it's natural water line due to Hauser Dam.

 Bald Eagle 

Canyon Monster 

Cave Drawings from ancient Indians, dated to be over 1200 years old!

Site of the Mann Gulch Fire 

 

The boat we rode on

First day of my 3rd Trimester! 

- Alana