Shrimpy Salad

(I could come up with a better name)

1lb of medium cooked, peeled, de-tailed shrimp
1-2 avocado cubed
2 tomato cubed
2 limes, juiced
1-2 jalapeno, seeded and diced
1 handful of cilantro coarsely chopped
1/4 red onion diced
2+ tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

combine all ingredients in a bowl, stir, season to taste. eat with spoon straight from bowl you made it in because it's that good.
I also like to use an avacado that is really soft, because it seems to blend into the lime juice and make a sauce that is just wonderful. 

As with most of my recipes, if you don't like something, leave it out, if you want more (like I think I'll use more avocado next time) then put it in. 

You could also cut the shrimp into smaller pieces and eat this with chips.
Would be good on top of shrimp enchiladas, or inside tortillas as cold tacos.

The entire recipe is 22 weight watchers points! But that's a lot to eat in one sitting...

Adapted From -
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/05/zesty-lime-shrimp-and-avocado-salad.html

I would also like to mention I have been nominated for Voice Books Top Military Mom Blogs I would love to have your vote. The top 10 blogs will get a spot on the website http://voiceboks.com/top-50-military-mom-blogs-of-2013/ Thank You for your support! 

Time For Change

With Paul returning to the fleet (regular Marine Corps) in 3.5 months we need to make some changes in our bodies. We have both become lazy and out of shape, and though he isn't that bad, he needs to be able to keep up with younger Marines, especially with cutbacks, The Marine Corps is about to get even more competitive. And me, well I am needing to cut the baby weight, and then some, I know I have said it before but I don't want to be that fat wife, the one people make jokes about because she doesn't work, she's just fat. I just want to feel comfortable with myself, I am not looking to be a size 0 or even a 4, I just want to look in the mirror and like what I see. I have been (slowly) loosing weight with weight watchers, but I know if I had a regular workout routine I could loose weight and tone my body. One of the big steps we have taken is we have decided to try to not eat out for the rest of the month! That's a big one, because we eat out at least once a week, if not two or three times. So at roughly $40 each time we are looking to save at least $200 if we can do it. I decided to spend part of that money that we will be saving on getting ourselves fit. We don't really have time for a gym, it's hard with the baby for me to be away from her since I am still exclusively breast feeding her, and I loathe pumping. Another blog I read A New Beginning Posted about a new Beachbody program that was just released, It's a 25 min workout that promises great results. I'm a sucker for a good gimmick, but this really intrigued me, it's a 25 min workout, and one of the reasons I slack on workouts is because even an hour is too long sometimes. I can't just put Evey down and workout for an hour straight. But 25 min, I can do that, easy. So I got suckered in, and ordered it yesterday. I hope that because of the cost we will use it (total about $140 with shipping, but i'm doing payments). I'll certainly have to keep you updated on my progress, it should be here early next week, so stay tuned. Maybe you'll even get some before shots out of me, because maybe the accountability of showing the world what I look like half naked is what I need to stick to it? We'll maybe not, not yet at least. 

 

Today I am linking up with Kara at Ramblings of a Marine Wife and the other ladies for 

because they do, right? 

Well as far as my diet is concerned they do....

My neck of the woods

I've been so busy with Princess Stinky Pants, that I haven't really written much lately, beyond baby updates.

Well that's not true. I wrote a big long post the other night about co-sleeping, but it got eaten by the blogger monster while I was asleep, and has not been seen from since. I keep hoping that I'll wake up and It'll appear for me to post, but I doubt it.

The weather here continues to mess with my emotions, it was really nice for a few days and then it got rainy for about a week, not that big of a deal, I don't mind the rain, but it was also chilly. Then it got nice again, really nice, now it's cold again. Second day of summer and our high will be in the high 50's low 60's

We have been planning our fall road trip/ PCS (permanent change of station, when we move to Paul's new location) We are going to try to visit everyone, this will include stops in Az, Nm, Tx, and all the way to Va. Then head back to California after. 

I also hope to visit some mommy friends on this trip. See, when I was pregnant with Evelyn I was lucky enough to find a group of ladies all also due in December, all also first time mommies. A facebook group has formed and we have been together since, It's been over a year now. We went through pregnancy, sickness, premie births, and late babies together, then colic, fevers, sleepless nights and wonder weeks. We are all having these milestones together, I think it's wonderful, I can ask this group of about 80 moms, "hey is anyone else dealing with this right now?" and I have so many moms that can relate. I was also lucky enough to discover two bloggers that had babies right when I did, Mrs. K & Captain J, we were due date buddies (we were, weren't we? oh my, baby brain has ruined my memory), but her little A came early. Then Home is wherever we are if there's love there too, she had her little Boy J, about 26 hours after I had Evelyn. But since she's in Japan, we actually were both having babies at very close to the same time! 

getting ready for a walk

I have been working on my physical self too. I recent started Weight Watchers again. Last time  I think I lost overall about 12 pounds. I still have lots of baby weight to loose, but I think I am down about 4 pounds since I started, which is 4 more pounds than I have lost since I came home from the hospital. I weigh in Monday, so we'll see where we are. My initial goal is the 20ish I have to loose from pregnancy. Then I would like to loose another 20ish. I have been walking/hiking the hill outside when the weather is nice, and mostly eating better on days that I am cooped up inside. I've been doing insanity off and on, and I've even done Jillian 30 Day Shred a few times.

workout woes  

We also have been hiking on the weekends, last weekend we followed an old rail road trail, that led to a spooky tunnel.  I thought my heart would explode walking through the tunnel, and if I didn't have Paul with me I wouldn't have gone in it, It was scary and I am pretty sure there were zombie monsters hidden in there just waiting to eat our faces. After we turned around and headed back I made us find a trail over the hill the tunnel went through because I really didn't want to walk through it again.  and that's about it. Somehow things are crazy busy with a baby, but I don't seem to have much to write about. That's not true, I have a few posts started that I need to take pictures for, I'm just lazy/too busy with Baby E, to take them and finish the posts. Maybe I can find time to do that soon.  Oh and don't forget, In a few days Google Reader will close FOREVER!
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Work it Gurl!

I've been doing a lot of hiking/walking lately. I live really close to a very nice trail that runs down the very steep hill I live atop. I think the elevation change is around 200 feet  and down and back it's about 4 miles. 

The great thing, besides the awesome view, it's paved, so I can bring the baby and jogger, which is totally awesome. 

There are several great turn around spots on the trail, depending on how much time I have, or if I have  a mileage goal, or if I want to do the really really steep part. 

The last time we went out (Saturday) we were just getting into some really icky weather, that is still here, and we ended up getting sleet/rained on almost the whole way back. It was a total bummer. But I did get to break in my new pretty shoes! 

My goal is to get out two times a week and do at least a small (2-3 mile) hike, and once a week go all the way to the bottom and do 4+ miles. I can even go beyond the bottom of the hill and get more mileage if the weather is nice. 

Adorable photos are my Motivation

I love these pictures.

I love how the sunlight lights up Evey's hair. I love how I am genuinely smiling.

I don't love how my body looks.

This is the first time I have really seen what I look like daily.

I am heaver than I have ever been, and at 4 months since Evey was born, I've lost only a very small percent of what I gained.

I am not happy with that. 

These pictures are my motivation, I want to be happy and healthy for my baby. 

So I need to keep pushing myself, for us.

I also need a hair cut.

I want to take photos with her and not be too embarrassed to put them on my facebook.

Maybe on the beach, when we get to Cali. 

Motivation.

These are my before pictures, stay tuned. 

That one time I smeared poo on my face

No not really. But it sure looked like it.

I'm trying to deal with nasty pregnancy acne. I had to stop using Retin-A. There are also so many commercial face washes that are not suggested for use when pregnant. The top ones being salicylic acid and benzyol peroxide (well benzyol peroxide isn't out 100% but there hasn't been much research either way, so I am avoiding it).

If anyone has any pregnancy safe skin treatments or even just ideas please share in the comments, I'll try anything!

So before I put anything on my skin I research it. I found this one recipe for a natural face mask/wash containing honey, lemon, cinnamon, and nutmeg.

Source: myyellowsandboxblog.com via Alana on Pinterest

Totally looked like I smeared shit on my face.

I do think it significantly reduced my redness. I haven't seen much of a change in my acne yet, but it's still early. One suggestion, if your honey is sort of stiff DO NOT MICROWAVE IT, it gets really hot and stays hot, and too runny to put on your skin. I had to put mine in the freezer for like an hour to get it to solidify enough that I could spread it on my face. 

Shout out to my sister for this idea too, she rocks! 

I've also been using 100% natural apple cider vinegar as a toner (ACV) I use 1 part ACV and 1 part water, the first few times I didn't mix it with water and I smelled like easter eggs, You know that smell when you are dying them? yeah that was my face and back. 

But the thing I really like about the ACV is I don't have that dry feeling on my face after I use it. I can skip lotion if I don't need the extra sunscreen, like when I shower at night. ACV balances out the PH of your skin, so it's not over dry or oily. It's like magic smelly juice! 

I would be so happy to get my skin under control before the baby comes. It's really depressing to look in the mirror and see the mess on my face, neck and back. My back is the worst, it's a nasty mess, but thankfully people can't really see it. 

Have a lovely day, and remember to find me on Facebook!

-Alana

Did she just cure my anxiety?

Last week I went to go see a chiropractor. It was recommended to me by my hairdresser, because I have been suffering back pain.
I sat in the dimly lit room, with nothing but a black bed thing and a small black desk and spoke to Julie my chiropractor girl (I think she may be younger than me, if not about my age) and we talked about how chiropractors work, and how there are different kinds of chiropractors. Some that contort and crack you, and some that just poke and prod you. She is a poker and prodder.
We talked about different things that could be treated, stomach problems, back pain, headaches, and other pains, just to name a few.

She stood me in front of a mirror and showed me my posture. my right shoulder hung lower than my left. My right hip however was higher than my left. I was all messed up.
I laid down and she moved me around, poked at my back, pulled at my neck, used this thing that made a loud pop noise that helps move your spines back where they should be.
After I left I felt really good. Just all over good. I can't explain it but I felt different. I felt better.
That was last tuesday.

For the last 8 days I have been almost 100% anxiety free.
I can't explain it.
Maybe it's in my head.
Maybe I just want to feel better so bad I have convinced myself that I am better.
Maybe it won't last.
Maybe after 10 years of mild to severe anxiety, which I have tried to treat through, yoga, meditation, medication, exercise, and more medication, I have finally found a resolution.

One of my big anxieties is fire. I usually unplug all the small appliances and anything that isn't huge before I leave the house, depending on the level of anxiety that day this can include things as mundane as lamps and chargers.
Yesterday for the first time ever I left the crock pot plugged in and on while I went to work for my 3 hour shift. Not once did i worry that the house had burned down.
My mom and I once joked about how I could crock during the day and not be worried about the house burning down, I said I would plug it into an extension cord and push it to the middle of the empty garage so if it erupted in flames it wouldn't be near enough to anything to start a house fire. (I never followed through on that plan.)
I also haven't had any work related anxiety. Usually when heading into work I am afraid I am going to be in trouble, though I know I have done nothing wrong, I am afraid that I have in some way missed something and that I will have someone mad at me.

I went back for a follow up yesterday. And she was surprised at how well my adjustments held up, she was also impressed at my mental health improvements. I was more impressed at my mental health improvements then anything.
For the first time in a long time I feel good, consistently good.
I hope it lasts.

I've been working on me

30 days from today my sister is getting married.
I know I am not going to loose mad amounts of weight, and really I don't want to because I already have my dress, I've already had it sized, and I don't want to worry about it being too big.
What I do want to do, is tone up. I have back fat and flabby arms. I am holding steady at about 157. I just want to tone up, the number on the scale isn't the biggest thing for me right now. Plus with winter running up on us I know that there will likely be some winter laziness and winter weight (though I hope not)

So I've been doing Jillian Andersons 30 day shred.
Check out Purple Goddesses weight loss journey blog, she's doing the 30 day shred too (and she is doing way better than I)
So yeah, Friday should have been day 3, but I skipped it. So yesterday, Saturday, I punished myself and went up to level 2, which was fucking killer. Planks, Planks, Planks and Planks.
I am also skipping today, so tomorrow, well it depends on work, but I may punish myself with level 2 again. I haven't technically worked out today, but I've been active most of the day, so I am not too disappointed with myself.

Last time I did the 30 day shred (and I stuck with it) I don't think I lost too much weight, but I did loose quite a bit of back fat.
So that's my goal.
I have 30 days to.....

BANISH THE BACK FAT!!!

Source: thefitway.tumblr.com via Alana on Pinterest

I am such a baby. Just ask my mommy.

Source: someecards.com via Alana on Pinterest

Yesterday my mommy told me I had no excuse to complain about not feeling well, if I refused to take anything for it.
Well she is wrong. I am sick, like swine flu or H1N1, maybe even SARS!
I feel terrible, my throat feels like sand paper, I am freezing, and starting this morning the nasal drainage is making me want to puke.
I can complain all I want. I can even cry if i want. SO THERE!
I did however go to the store and get some 'tussin and I am going to dope myself up and knit, or make a yarn wreath. Or just watch RHWOBH & Rachel Zoe.

To make myself feel better for dinner I am making Pioneer Woman Sausage Potato & Kale soup. but I think I am gonna add bacon. :)

Source: someecards.com via Alana on Pinterest

What is a Green Monster?

well besides that thing that only baseball fans know about, there is a thing going around the blog world, in health-blog rings called a Green Monster. Upon further investigation I learned that it's a smoothie that looks like baby shit. It's not supposed to taste like shit, but it looks like shit, and i have a hard time with the idea of eating something that looks like shit. But in the never ending quest for health and weight loss, i decided i would try to make one. i am sick of bagel thins for breakfast and wanted to mix it up a little. 
so here goes: MY BABY SHIT SMOOTHIE


a hand full of spinach
4-5 raspberries 
3 strawberries 
1 heaping spoon of flax seed
about 1 cup of coconut water
a few ice cubes


blended in my Magic Bullet until smooth


and.... 

yep that looks like shit to me. 


it really wasn't bad, it tasted like watered down strawberries, i thought about adding some sugar free sweetener but I wanted to keep it as natural as possible. I think i'll maybe have another for lunch. 

i used fresh berries but almost all the recipes i saw called for frozen, well i didn't have frozen. But I did just take all the fruit i had and packaged it for freezing. 




Incase you are interested: 


http://greenmonstermovement.com/
http://claimyourjourney.com/2011/08/green-monster/
http://claimyourjourney.com/2011/08/green-monster/
http://experimentinpoverty.blogspot.com/2011/08/best-green-monsters-everrrr.html

More On Weight Watchers.

I am really proud of myself for sticking to this as well as I have. I am seeing the results on the scale too, today I weighed 159!

I wanted to share a sample of what I eat every day. I try to sort of stick to the same-ish things but mix them up in small ways.

Yesterday:

Breakfast was an everything bagel thin (3pts) with about 2 3/4 tbsp of whipped cream cheese. (i usually like to pack in pickled jalapenos for 0 pts, but i was out)

(photo snagged from jersey wife)

lunch was a half of a whole wheat pita pocket (2 pt), filled with 2 slices of turkey (1 pt), a hand full of spinach (0 pt), and a fried egg (2 pt), and about 2 tbsp of dijon mustard (0 pt)

for dinner I broiled salmon, I had 6 oz (7 pt), a bunch of broiled asparagus with a little olive oil (0 for the asparagus, 1 pt for the oil)

[photo snagged from Obsessive Chef]

and a bloody mary (4 pt for 1 jigger vodka, 1 pt for 1 cup of spicy V8),

[photo from Cocktail wiki]

for dessert since I had extra points I had a WW chocolate cookie ice cream bar (4 pt)

i don't know why the box says 2 pts, mine says 4, and so does my weight watchers counter thing. whatever.

[photo from amazon]

So that is a typical day for me. I am given 29 points a day and yesterday I came out to 28.

I love the pita's because they never get old and I can add things to them like jalapeno, pepperoncinis, cucumber, green pepper, or any other veggie to mix it up without adding in points. I also sometimes mix up breakfast, I'll have Special K with Red Berries, and I'll add fresh strawberries and bananas. I often eat fresh cut up cucumber, banana, or tomato throughout the day, but I was busy most of yesterday and didn't have time. I also find that the further into this I get the less I find myself hungry. The first week was real hard to keep it under 29 points, now it's pretty easy most of the time. And I try to keep myself from getting hungry by eating often and meals full of veggies. I still have the problem of not knowing when I am full. My body doesn't really tell me, "okay I'm getting full", I go from still hungry to so full I am going to puke very quickly. So i try to eat slowly and not eat too much in one sitting, and limit my portions per veggie even though they are zero points, because overeating on anything isn't good, even if it's healthy.

Weight Watchers Update.

Today I weighed in, 160, 8 pounds down from start date May 14. Weight Watchers has been hard to stick to, sometimes I get unbelievably hungry. But this whole last week I was within or 1-2 points of my daily allowance.

My favorite treats have recently been tomatoes and cucumbers with seasoning salt and lots of pepper, or bananas. I eat lots of bananas, 2-3 a day.

I am still drinking, but keeping it under my points limit, and I have been drinking vodka with lemon and a little sprite zero, it's less points than beer, and in the long run it's cheeper.

Grocery shopping is still expensive. I am buying lots of veggies. Veggies aren't cheep. I still have TV dinners for lunch but I have found some that are pretty low on points and still filling. I also love the Green Giant single serving cauliflower/broccoli and cheese or broccoli & carrots. They microwave in 3 min and the ones with cheese are 1 point and the other is 0 points.

Things are going well. But I am going to blow it tonight and go to BWW and have wings and beer, maybe fries. So I'll have to go hiking tomorrow morning to work it off.

I'm a quitter.

It hasn't even been a week and I'm already giving up on the low carb thing. It just isn't for me. I've tried it before and it's hard for someone who love starchy carbs like I do. I live for sammiches and potatoes, I love Mac and Cheese and pasta. Pizza is my favorite take out. It's just too hard for me. I feel like crap because I am stuck in a low-carb fog.

I am going to continue to watch my carbs, and keep them in check, but I am not going to restrict myself to the point I have been, and make myself cry because I can't have pizza because I am already too fat. I know it's not all calories in calories out in weight loss, but that's a fair part of it. My plan is to exercise (or at least walk) every day. EVERY DAY! and keep my calories low, carbs in check, protein high and sugars (besides fruit) low. No Mt. Dew! No Cokes! No Cherry Pepsi! except one and a while. I also need to curb my beer/wine drinking. Lately I havn't been drinking a lot, but I've been drinking often, and once a week or so I'll over do it. Cool thing I did learn with low carb is my hangover which I get from just smelling wine, has been missing. But it's not an even trade off, I'll live with the occasional hangover if I can have bread.

Manic Monday

First off, I really shouldn't be blogging, I should be working on my paper for History, or reading for Government, or studying for Environmental Science. (why yes, I am taking too many classes again this term, why do you ask?) but that's no matter, I want to blog.

Monday's topic- Fitness/Diet/Healthy

With homecoming fast approaching it's time for me to work on shedding those deployment pounds, and then some. I'm going to be brutally honest about myself because this is my blog and I can say what I want, but not only am I overweight (to myself and according to my BMI) but I am painfully out of shape. I get winded running up to the third floor. I get tired walking the dog around the block. I am a lazy person, and being overwhelmed in school doesn't help.

I'll start with diet.

I've been reading alot about Atkins, it speaks of rapid weight loss and still remaining healthy. More or less you are seriously limiting carbs, no sugars, and no caffeine. 20 grams of carbs a day to start, normally in a day I consume 150-180 grams. I love bread, noodles and sandwiches. all are huge carb adders to my diet. fortunatly meat, chicken, beef, fish, pork, not breaded and fried have 0 carbs. I thought this would be easy, get some carbs from veggies and eat lots of meat, I like meat, I can have all the sashimi, steaks, and chicken wings I want.

I started last monday, 1 week ago today. I lasted 2 days before I broke down and had oatmeal for breakfast. every day since then I have passed the 20 gram a day carb mark, but my average daily carbs is around 50 grams, so not too bad, i think. I've lost 4 pounds, I notice my pants are a little looser, I don't feel great but I am getting over a cold. I've also almost completely cut sugar out, havn't had a soda in a week, (well I had a coke zero today, but no real sugar, no carbs, and no calories) I've been eating lots of fish and veggies, last night for dinner I had asparagus and salmon, it was yummy!!!! My hardest part is low carb breakfasts, I am getting sick of eggs, and I don't much feel like a steak in the morning. I sleep in so when it comes to breakfast it needs to be grab and go. which is why I like oatmeal. I know i am not sticking to Atkins as prescribed, but I have found that when my carbs are lower than 30, I feel like shit. So I am going to compensate and eat what I need to feel good. Like today for lunch I had soba, 1 1/2 cups of soba noodles is about 36 grams of carbs, but you know what? I wanted it. so there.

Fitness.

As soon as my nose stops draining and my cough stops I'll likely start back up at the gym again, until then I am going to start today with doing some workouts at home and around here. I've got light weights. I have workout DVD's; P90X, Biggest Looser, Billy Blanks. I just need to stop watching South Park in my spare time and working out instead.

Overall Healthy Lifestyle.

I just want to modify my life for the better, I am eating way more organic produce, and meats, I eat less processed foods. And I feel better, about myself and in general.

I read somewhere in my quest for healthy living that the healthiest grocery shopping is done along the walls. Think about it; produce? against the wall; fresh meats? against the wall; milk, eggs, cheese, dairy? against the wall; Fresh breads? against the wall. over processed, full of added crap, sugars, High fructose corn syrups? in the isles. I try to avoid the isles at all costs. (also cause I despise fighting people through them at the commissary) but some things I need, canned veggies, which i still support. Frozen dinners and veggies (Love me some Lean Cuisine microwave panini! and broccoli with cheese) I don't eat potato chips, I do eat tortilla chips, I stopped drinking soda, except the occasional coke zero or sugar free redbull. I love salads and roasted veggies.

Also along with the lifestyle changes, I love being outside, I just wish Okinawa would get with the program and warm the hell up and stop RAINING!!!

well that is all for my blogging today, stay tuned tomorrow for... Military Life/Deployment

Life

Things have been crazy here, Paul's getting ready to deploy, he's been training like crazy, we've been trying to squeeze every second we can from the time we have. It hasn't been easy. I've been sick, not coughing sick, it's hard to explain, a wile ago, about a month or so, I had an "episode" where I pretty much blacked out while driving. Weird part was I didn't loose control of the car, I continued to drive, I just couldnt remember it, when my brain turned back on, it was only a few seconds, but it was very scary. about a week later it happened again, this time at home. My doctors went back and forth and decided it was Effexor, which I have been taking for Atypical Depression for about 5 months. They cut my dose in half to start to wean me off, then pulled the plug on it last week.

I knew it would suck, Effexor gets in your body and you form a dependence to it. Even though a few weeks prior I had gone to half my normal dose, when I stopped completely it was hell. the first 24 hours wern't too bad, then the nausea kicked in, spinning, shakes, hot flashes, itching, mood swings. the last week has been very hard on me emotionally, I came off the drug, I found out Paul was leaving ALOT sooner than I anticipated, and I was coming off this drug, which made things seem ten times worse. I cried for really no reason several times. I got furiously angry with Paul again, for really no reason. (at the time it seemed to me like him asking me where the pampered chef stuff came from was a reason to flip out, now in retrospect, I see.... I was crazy) and the spinning, I felt like I was going to fall off the floor when i was just sitting there. I caved on my birthday and couldnt take it anymore, I broke open a pill (they are capsules) and took about half of what was inside. This is a common way people come off this drug, it can be so bad for people on day they take thirty inside pieces, the next day they take 29, and they will still have withdraw. Thankfully I wasnt this bad. I was almost back to normal within a few hours.

I had my birthday party, got a hangover and it was all worth it. Then last night as the hangover began to fade i began to feel the withdraw again. Not as bad as before, but bad enough. I was just having the weirdest, most indescribable feelings, like body hallucinations. sometimes it would feel like a wave would go through my body in slow motion, others i'd get this spark, like my brain was just zapped. weird stuff. Thankfully i woke up this morning to just sort of feeling like shit and after breakfast, coffee & some excedrine i felt better. Right now i have some occasional zaps, or waves but the spinning has stopped my appetite has returned to normal. I even drove today without wanting to vomit. As the day went on I felt better and better, Joselyn and I had a date and we had lunch, hit the hundred yen store, and had some fro-yo.

I am not trying to get people to feel bad for me, there's more to the story and if I wanted your pity I am sure I could pull at your heart strings, and I'm not trying to say anti-depressants are awful, I think they are great! Effexor was great until I started having the episodes out (which BTW is EXTREMELY rare, so rare it's not listed as a side effect in most data bases) I just want to share with you what has been going on, and even though my doctor explained to me all of the side effects/withdraw before starting and stopping this drug (well he said it would suck), I want people to know it's survivable. I today is 6 days since i stopped full dose, and i am okay. i dont want to kill myself, i dont feel like i am falling off hte floor, i dont feel fan-fucking-tastic, but i'm okay.

How am i gonna do it?

Okay Courtney here's how i'm gonna get healthy

1. go to the gym twice a week for strength training 
2. walk to the commissary for small things and to check the mail (this will only last until we move because then i'll be like 7 miles from the commissary, and i aint walking that far for bread and milk)
3. walk to the gym weather permitting (same conditions as above, this will only be until we move, but i may try it once after we move, and if it doesn't suck...)
4. walk/jog a mile a day (M-F)
5. no sitting down during the day unless it's for school work or to eat. there are far more important things i can be doing besides watching Judge Judy. like cleaning (i really suck at cleaning)
6. eat at least one fruit or veggie a day ( i really suck at this, my diet is mostly carbs and meat) 
7. start out each day with either a bowl of oatmeal or slim-fast 
8. have protein for lunch (tuna, PB&J, chicken) as long as it has more than 10grams of protein were good. 
9. cut back on my consumption of empty calories (juice, soda), stick with water and tea. 
10. Continue logging all food/exercise on SparkPeople.com  (which for some reason isnt working this afternoon)
11. when the pool opens in March i'll also start swimming again, this time every other day (M,W&F)

Why i want to loose weight

Shape Magazine does little bio's on people who loose weight, one woman said her best motivation was to make a list of ten reasons she wanted to loose weight. when she lost her motivation she pulled out the list. her is my list:

1. I want to feel better about myself
2. I want to feel better in general, healthy diet is proved to do this
3. I want to not be ashamed to wear my bathing suit
4. I want to be able to run without wanting to die
5. I want to be healthy when i get pregnant, so i can have a healthy baby
6. I want to have a healthy family and not become an overweight statistic
7. Someday I want to be a Park Ranger, or work for NPS and being healthy and able to hike/walk long distances would be beneficial
8. I want to prove to myself that i can do it
9. I want to get my libido back
10. I want to have made great strides toward my goal by the time Paul leaves so i am not tempted to give it all up and live off BK and potato chips. 

what's your list? 

Today was a better day

I started a new ADD medicine last week, and i have been sick, sick as hell. i barely got out of bed friday. yesterday i lowered my dose, hoping to not be as sick, and i wasnt as sick, but i was less sick feeling but feeling sick longer. today i didnt want to take it, but i need it, i cant continue to struggle in school, it's just to hard. and i need to see if i can adjust to it, or i need to call the doctor, so i took it again. same dose as yesterday, and i felt so much better, i felt almost like i am supposed to, more focused, less distracted, and even generally happier than i have been in a few weeks. we went out, ran errands, i got some super great knitting needles at the ¥100 store. came home played with dogdoo and took a bath. now i'm trying to decide what to knit, i want to work on this scarf i started, but i really need to work on that other mitten. i think the mitten will win.

fitness

i am trying to loose about 25 pounds (maybe more we'll see once i get to a healty BMI) i am 5'5''ish 169.2 26 years old. currently my workout routine is :

5 days a week - (working toward 6)

treadmill 15.0 incline 2.8-3.5 mph for 30 to 45 min, the calorie count on the treadmill says i burn about 808 cals an hour at 3.5 (today i burned 570 for 45 min going between 2.8-3.5)

3-4 days a week i do nautilus training, focusing mainly on my legs and mid section for about 20 min at the max weight i can handle 50ish reps each machine

i also was walking my dog about 3-4 miles a day at about 2 miles an hour (she's a small dog so i cant exactly run with her) but this is on hold while she recovers from surgery, i will still try to walk but i doubt it will be this much.

any suggestions, does this sound like a good routine?

i've also heard that muscle burns fat, but building muscle under fat just makes the fat stick out more, so when i do nautilus training weights on my midsection am i building muscle that will help me burn more fat, or should i just wait to work my muscles in that section until i am no longer toting a spare tire?

eta- i also eat about 1500-1700 calories a day and am sedimentary with the exception of my workouts